You just made me feel so damn special
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Holy shit dude........stairs
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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