I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
