We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
