Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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