I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
