I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
