What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
