sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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