i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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