i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
