STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
