Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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