I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
