I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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