I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
bring money and cleavage
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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