I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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