I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
