So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
