He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
sex in a hospital.. check
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
