He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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