let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
