am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize
