I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
