i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
