I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
