I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
