I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
