its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
