I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
