You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
