If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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