absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
