i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
