yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
They are going to name an STD after you.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
