What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
