Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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