): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
