There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
