...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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