a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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