i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
