how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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