yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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