i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
