i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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