I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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