It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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