i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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