I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
