your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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